I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Church boner. Awkwardddd
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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