I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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