you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
