Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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