I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
