I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
