had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
