and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
