YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
