she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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