I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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