Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
