Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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