WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
