i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
