I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
