CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I need to align my fucking chakras
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
