So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
