I heard we made out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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