stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
