Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
