i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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