4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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