too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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