Sry I called you an 8
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
