so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
