i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
