Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
