Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
