all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
