I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
