just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
