I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You left your phone here
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