Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
