cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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