Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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