so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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