420 ftw
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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