Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
