Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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