I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
