i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
