just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
