at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
