hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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