guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
