I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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