how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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