Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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