Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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