i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
