I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
